Bob's Stag

Bob's stag was last night at the Bowmansville Fire Hall, and holy shit did I get drunk. There's just something about that place that brings out the inner drunk in me ;)

It was an evening of cigars, green label Jack Daniels and Diet Coke and Skittles. (Yep, Bob puked the rainbow, and more importantly, I didn't.) The funny thing was that I didn't think that I'd have enough cigars for everybody, wow, I was wrong.

Bob's friend Tommy did a hell of a job of getting everything setup, and I did everything that I possibly could to help out. In fact, I was one of the people to walk out the door that night.

I learned two new styles of Kung-Fu as well, Drunken-Style Lying Down, and Drunken-Style Text / Voice Messaging. While those two new styles may not sound all Sonny Chiba, Jackie Chan exciting, they were nonetheless invaluable. Bryan told me that Kim's car got into an accident as well and I was scared that something happened to her and she got hurt (it was in the driveway and nobody was hurt.) So my new mad texting / calling skillz came in handy making sure that she was okay.

As for the other lying down skill, well, apparently when I have that much to drink I get pretty tired. (Plus, all the running around on my end to make sure that Bob's stag wouldn't be anything he forgot.) There were quite a few times that I just decided to lay down where I was standing. One of those happened to be down stream of Bob's puke water rushing towards me. (I moved in time.) Another one was me getting almost run over by a large truck, you get the idea...

Lisa's Dad, Stan, was funny as hell, he wanted me to stick my finger down my throat so that I'd puke and get it over with. He didn't just tell me once, more like 15 times.

Apparently, the funniest part didn't even occur until after Bob's stag ended. Bryan was nice enough to take me back home after a slight detour at Michaeline's (sp) house to pick up the ladies. After Bryan found her place, we got there before Lisa's limo arrived. I took the opportunity to hone my lying down skillz on her sidewalk. We got in and everyone had cold pizza and stuff. Except me, of course, and because practice makes perfect, I put those same skillz to the test on her living room carpet.



Just another one of my "proud moments"...
I was so out of it that when Lisa kicked me in the ass (aaparently REALLY hard) and when she offered Kim's "services" I didn't even flinch. :)

On the ride home, Kim asked me a question to which I was barely able to mutter out "wha-te-ver" to.